Be My Witness

I am a compuslive eater. I eat for many different reasons (besides because I'm hungry). Probably my #1 reason to overeat is when I feel out of control. Control is a big thing to me. It has taken me years to figure this out about myself. When I have anxiety, feel depressed, or find myself craving something sweet to "pig out on," it ALWAYS comes back to feeling out of control. I don't like surprises (unless they are good ones ). I like to know what is going to happen so I can plan for things. And, as everyone knows, life is constantly throwing little surprises your way.

Today, I was given a surprise. It was a rather small surprise in comparison, but a surprise nonetheless. I would rather not discuss it on here, but lets just say that I had a confrontation with someone. It has all been resolved now, but all morning long, I was dwelling over this situation. And so, do you know what I did at lunch? I got a 1/2 pound bag of peanut M&M's to have at my desk so I could munch on them this afternoon. Why? Why do I think overeating will solve my problems? I'm addicted. I'm addicted to the comfort that food gives me. That sounds crazy, doesn't it. But it's true! So, everyone here today is going to be my witness. I'm going to imagine that everyone can see me. I have had two handfuls of those M&M's, and I'm going to throw the rest of the bag away right now. Right now, here I go...

I did it! Now, I'm going to finish my water at my desk. If I do get hungry this afternoon, I have some yogurt in the frig that I can have. And tomorrow I will check in and tell you what happened.