Tick, Tick, Tick

No baby yet. I feel like a ticking time bomb. When I call someone, I have to start with, "No, I'm not in labor." In a weird way, it's kind of fun to have so much power - one call from me and about six or seven people drop everything and head my way.

At this point, I would rather wait until after Christmas to have Madelyn. Of course most of all, I just want her to come when she is ready. But if I had to choose, I'd rather wait until after Christmas. That way, holiday plans won't be messed up, and we won't have to wait to open up presents :) I'm really excited about having Christmas at my house this year. I love to decorate for Christmas. One of the reasons I have a Christmas party each year is so I have a reason to decorate. This year we will actually open up presents under our tree and eat Christmas dinner on our china. It feels like I am officially a grown up now. I don't "go home" for Christmas; I have the home.

Inducing

Being almost 39 weeks pregnant is the strangest sensation. I feel like I have a bowling ball in my lap. I am so thankful that I am not working right now. I am certain that not working has helped me in this last stage of pregnancy. I salute all women who work up until they deliver.

Mitch and I have decided not to have me induced next week. My doctor gave us the choice, although he did say he doesn't normally advise inducing before the due date. We didn't bring the topic up. I guess he gets that request a lot, so he just gives the choice to everyone. Or maybe he assumed we wanted to try to get her here before the new year. The more I think about it, the more I am happy with our decision not to be induced next week. My due date isn't until Saturday, the 29th. This is going to sound silly, but inducing before then sounds like cheating. Now if there was a medical reason why I needed to deliver, that would be a completely different story. But just to do it out of convenience just doesn't seem right. Plus, I kind of like bringing back the element of surprise. When am I going to go into labor? It is fun to not know - at least for now. I might be singing a different tune next week when the bowling ball weighs more.

Blogging Habit

Why can't I get in the habit of keeping up with my blog? I have been trying to analyze this question this morning as I browse my friends' blogs. I feel guilty that A. I haven't kept up with reading my friends' blogs and B. I haven't kept up with my own. So to all of my blogging friends out there, I apologize. I do think about all of you often, and I do have an email relationship with most of you (as you know).

As anyone who knows me, you know that I am a ferocious journal keeper. I write in my journal at least once a week. And since I have not worked, I have been writing in it almost every day. But when it comes to blogging, well, it's just not a habit, I guess. I have come up with one theory of why I can't seem to latch onto the blogging habit. I will discuss this briefly, and then I will stop my analyzing because it is exhausting.

Theory:
Years and years ago when I first started to journal, I saw my journal as a current affairs news story. If I missed a few entries, I would feel the need to try to "update" my journal on all that had happened to me since my last entry. But updating wasn't nearly as fun as just writing my current thoughts and concerns. So, I would quickly give up. In college, I had an epiphany. My journal is MY journal. I don't have to update it - I can just write what is on my mind at the time, even if I haven't written in it in six months. When I realized this, I was free to write whatever I wanted. This, ironically, helped me write in it more because I wasn't tied down to the boring updating. Okay, so maybe the same thing is happening here! I feel the need to update. If I haven't blogged in a month or two and just jumped in and started talking about my current thoughts, you wouldn't understand it because I haven't been keeping everyone updated on what is going on in my life. So I guess I should just stop updating. If you don't understand something I write, you can ask me and I will clarify. But for now on, I am just going to write. And I just realized after re-reading this paragraph that most of you will probably think I am clinically insane when you read this. Oh well.

Today is my weekly OB doctor's appointment. We will see if I am any more dilated or effaced. Everybody keeps asking me how I feel. I also get sympathetic looks when I am waddling out in public. But to be honest, being this pregnant is not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Yes, I get out of breath very easily, and it is very uncomfortable to get behind the wheel (which is what a husband is for :), but I am not so miserable that I am cranky like Rachel was on Friends, Season 8. I tell you one thing, though. The heartburn is horrible! Although that problem has been better the last couple of days, so that is a major relief. Maybe that means Madelyn has dropped some! Getting up to pee three times a night is getting really, really old.