Motivation

Thank you for all of your comments and support on my last post! They were very encouraging. Today I bought another walking-in-place workout DVD. I'm coming to realize that variety in my workout routine keeps me motivated. You would think, if you knew me in person, that it would be the opposite. Normally, I am a big advocate of having a routine. But I guess until exercising becomes a part of my routine, I need to keep things exciting and new. I suppose we all need a little unpredictability in our lives. The problem with exercising is I can't do anything too strenuous because of my bad back. Walking, however, is doctor approved and encouraged! So, these walking-in-place workouts are a great invention.

I have read up on motivation. Most experts say you should visualize what you want to achieve. For me, the perfect mental image for losing weight is imagining Mitch and I relaxing on a Caribbean cruise. Cruises, however relaxing they might seem to most people, have always been intimidating to me because of the casual attire. In the cruise commercials, all the women are in bathing suits or tank tops (and they are all thin, of course). Well, because of my weight and insecurities, I have a hard time wearing swimsuits in public. I know it sounds silly, and you are probably thinking, "Oh, just don't worry about that! No one cares what you look like in a swim suit." But for me, it is much, much more than that. You see, I am not just battling weight loss or how to control my eating habits; I am battling to win back my self confidence. To comfortably be able to walk around a cruise ship wearing a swimsuit means not only I lost weight, but that I gained back my self confidence.

So, in honor of this motivational exercise, Mitch and I have decided that we are going to set up a cruise fund. Every time I reach a goal of mine, we are going to put some money in our fund. And, when I have won the battles, Mitch and I will set sail with swimsuits and self confidence in tow!

Am I Crazy?

I hate this time change. It takes me about a week to adjust to it. And I really don't know why. Being a morning person, you would think that I wouldn't mind getting up an hour earlier. But it just throws off my whole system. I feel behind all the time.

If you are wondering why I haven't really posted anything about my "healthy goals" lately, it is not because I'm not keeping up with them. It is because Meredith, Crystal and I have set up a blog specifically to keep up with our goals and our progress. Just to give a quick update on here, I have had a really hard time walking at night after work. I finally made the decision last week to start getting up early to walk. This morning was the first day and I did a 15-minute walking-in-place video. Hopefully I will be able to keep this up this week.

I had a meltdown Saturday night about carrot cake. You see, Mitch and I had been at my parents' house celebrating my birthday (it was the first weekend both of us could do it.) My mom made my favorite type of cake - carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Over the course of a day and a half, I ate 3 pieces. My mom gave us the leftovers to take back with us Saturday night. On the drive home, I started dwelling over the rest of that cake that was lying in my back seat. It was taunting me. I wanted that cake all to myself. I didn't want to share with co-workers or neighbors. I wanted to get a fork and eat it all myself. But the other side of me knew that was wrong. So, I spent a good 15 minutes going back and forth in my mind about what to do with that cake. Finally, because of this internal struggle, I started to cry. Mitch listened to me complain about the cake and my predicament. By the time we got home, (which is an hour drive,) I finally made the decision to throw it away. So, being the wonderful husband that he is, Mitch "took care of" the cake as soon as we got home. I didn't even have to look at it again.
I want to know 2 things:

Am I crazy for struggling this much over food?

What would a normal, healthy person have done in my situation? Would they have refused the leftovers? Would they have requested not to have carrot cake as birthday cake since it is such a temptation?

Spring Fever

The weather right now is gorgeous! I have major spring fever, which is sort of a new experience for me. I'm not usually this desperate to get outside. I mean most of my hobbies are sort of inside activities. And to quote Jack Dawson from Titanic, "I seem more like an inside girl." But this year is different. Yesterday, on my lunch break, I took a walk in the park. And I want to do something outside this weekend. We are visiting my parents this weekend and I hope it doesn't rain so we can all go on a picnic.

I am listening to a Danielle Steel book in my car. I know, I know...it is the reader's junk food. But it was in the bargain bin at the bookstore and listening to books in the car help makes the commute seem quicker. Anyway, as you might have guessed, I am disappointed in it. I have never read any of her books before. I want to cut about every other paragraph. She goes into too much detail! Most of the time, I am thinking, "OK, I get it. She is excited about going home and her boyfriend is a jerk for not understanding how important her family is to her - get on with it!" What is sort of a paradox is I usually enjoy detailed books. I think why I don't like the detail in this book is that the characters are flat. This sister is the artistic one, this boyfriend is the caring one, this guy is the jerk, this sister is the beautiful one, etc. There is no development. I want to see the progression of why someone is the way they are.
The bottom line is I am not a fan. I know why it was in the bargain bin.

A Blessed Life

Today is an absolutely beautiful day in Alabama. I wish I was at the park instead of at work. I like this time of year when I can begin to bring out my sandals. I hate wearing socks and hose.

Today is my grandparent's wedding anniversary. As many of you know, my grandfather passed away last November. My thoughts and prayers are out to my grandmother today. I cannot imagine spending 50+ years with one man and then trying to bear things without him.

I was reminded today of how blessed my life is. I complain about silly things like wanting to lose weight or not having any vacation days built up yet with my job, but really I have no reason to complain at all. I have a roof over my head and an abundance of food. I have a closet full of clothes. I have a wonderful husband who loves and cares for me. I have loving parents who would give anything for me and a great relationship with my in-laws. I have a car - a RELIABLE car. I have books, DVDs, and CDs of all different types and flavors to keep me entertained until I die. I have no right to cry over being overweight or sulk because we can't take a week's vacation to go to the beach.